Emotions: a universal language
Emotions are universal. They bring together the human species, regardless of culture or upbringing. They are also observed in animals.
Why identify our emotions? To better understand ourselves, better understand others and our environment, meet authentic needs, develop empathy, or reconnect with our bodies and thoughts.
There are many primary emotions and other secondary emotions, much like an artist’s palette. Emotions have a function, a variable place of residence, and they carry a message. They exist for a period of time and can then be released to make room for the next emotion.
What is an emotion?
According to therapist Isabelle Filliozat, an emotion is “a movement outward, an impulse that arises from within oneself.”
An emotion is also a sensation that expresses who we are in relation to the world. It first passes through the body in the form of physiological sensations. Then, our brain identifies and gives meaning to the perception in order to trigger the emotion.
An emotional trigger can come from within or outside ourselves. An emotion serves to indicate a situation that is significant to us. It also serves to motivate action.
The role of emotions
Emotions have different functions:
- Survival
- Adaptation to the environment
- Communication of needs
Behind every emotion lies a need.
True or false about emotions*
- Emotions are positive or negative: false. Emotions are pleasant or unpleasant. All emotions are positive because they serve a purpose.
- Emotions are contagious: true. Emotions are transmitted through observation.
- Emotions express our needs: true. An emotion is the consequence of a need being met or unmet.
*Adapted from a quiz in The Imperfect Parents’ Guide to Emotions.
Six primary emotions and many shades
How many emotions are there? Six primary emotions are commonly recognized. They are considered primary because they are universal and immediate.
There are also secondary emotions, such as shame, jealousy, guilt, pride, and anxiety. These secondary emotions are sometimes reactions to our primary emotions, or feelings. They are influenced by our experiences, values, and thoughts.
Examples of primary emotions
| Emotion | Actions or functions | Needs |
|---|---|---|
| Fear | Flee, freeze, get to safety | Protection, safety |
| Anger | Attack, defend, release | Repair, justice |
| Sadness | Cry, withdraw | Comfort, listening, healing |
| Joy | Have fun, laugh, explore | Renewal, sharing |
| Disgust | Move away, turn away, reject | Distance, understanding |
| Surprise | Observe, stay still, startle | Clarity, reflection, integration |
Joy and pleasant emotions
Joy, smiling, and laughter are simple ways to foster pleasant emotions and release feel-good chemicals. Joy can reduce the stress and activation hormone cortisol. Several hormones can be triggered by emotions, depending on the activities or situations encountered.
| Hormone | Action or effect |
|---|---|
| Dopamine | Pleasure, well-being, motivation, recovery |
| Serotonin | Good mood |
| Adrenaline | Excitement |
| Oxytocin | Social connection |
| Endorphin | Pain relief |
Overly emotional, ultra-sensitive, or hypersensitive?
According to Saverio Tomasella, “sensitivity is the future of the world.” He believes it is one of humanity’s most precious treasures. He encourages us to value sensitivity rather than seeing it as a sign of weakness or illness.
We cannot blame another human being for being too sensitive. Sensitive people have heart and compassion. They are empathetic, intuitive, and creative. They often demonstrate an openness to kindness and beauty.
In medicine, hypersensitivity refers to an intolerance or allergic predisposition. The term ultra-sensitivity is more commonly used to describe people with heightened sensitivity.
15 practical tips for regulating your emotions
Here are a few tips to help you navigate emotions in everyday life.
1. Welcome your emotions
According to Saverio Tomasella, we cannot manage our emotions. We can only welcome them, experience them, listen to them, and thank them as they arise, then return to our activities.
2. Repeat and reprogram
We can associate an emotion with a task to stimulate motivation. For example, listening to upbeat music while cleaning up after a meal can help associate that task with a pleasant emotion.
This is a form of behavioural programming through repetition. By creating a new habit, we can influence the emotion.
3. Lighten your backpack
In the backpack metaphor, we carry a bag in which we place different things. Some people fill it with emotions, thoughts, useful things, and unnecessary things.
It can be helpful to open your backpack from time to time to remove what you no longer need. We can identify and name what is hiding at the bottom of the bag and let go of what no longer needs to be there.
4. Accept imperfection
Appreciate who you are and what you do.
5. Establish reassuring routines
Establish routines that help you feel safe.
6. Set realistic priorities
Set realistic and concrete priorities and micro-goals.
7. Listen to your body
Listen to your body and its sensations through mindful self-observation.
8. Practise a relaxation approach
Practise a relaxation approach such as yoga, sophrology, breathing exercises, or visualization.
9. Cultivate kindness
Listen to yourself with kindness by observing and clarifying what is happening within you. Make space for your needs and take time to reconnect with them.
10. Communicate assertively or non-violently
Communicate assertively or through non-violent communication. Marshall Rosenberg’s OSBD method of non-violent communication can be explored.
11. Reflect on pleasant moments
At the end of each day, before going to bed, think about three pleasant moments you experienced during the day.
12. Use an emotions wheel
Use an emotions wheel to recognize and name the emotion.
13. Spend time near water
Drink water. Walk or sit near a body of water.
14. Embrace wonder every day
Allow yourself to experience wonder in your everyday life.
15. Dare to love
Dare to love day by day. And dare to love yourself.
Listening to your emotions is also a way of taking care of your overall health. If you feel the need, book an appointment with a psychoeducator today.
References
- Aboucaya, Eve et al. Les émotions. Le guide décapant des parents imparfaits. Éditions Hachette Livre, Marabout, 2019.
- Doyon, Nancy. Parent gros bon sens. Éditions Midi trente, 2022.
- Filliozat, Isabelle. L’intelligence du coeur. Travailler confiance en soi, créativité, relations, autonomie. Éditions Marabout, 2019.
- Housley Juster, Anna et Cliff, Cynthia. Mon amie Amygdale. Entraîne ton cerveau! Éditions Midi trente, 2024.
- Portelance, Colette. Au coeur de l’intelligence. Montréal : Éditions du CRAM, 2021.
- Tomasella, Saverio. Lettre ouverte aux âmes sensibles qui veulent le rester. Éditions Larousse, 2021.
